I think about not achieving my goals fast enough all the time. Probably more than I should. It consumes my mornings, my days are spent thinking about it, it swirls around in my head until I fall asleep and the next morning the cycle starts all over again. YAY!
Welcome to my head, here we second guess everything and panic over the smallest thing, but on the outside we look calm, cool and collected.
Yeah I have my shit together (no I don’t)
Yeah I know exactly what I’m doing (no I don’t)
No I don’t panic about my future or the future of the planet because we’re slowly killing our home, I’m chill. (I am so not chill) this topic is for another blog post because I’m very concerned about our planet and it stresses me out a lot.
I do this thing that I really shouldn’t and that’s compare myself to my friends and my peers. It’s bad I know and as much as everyone says you shouldn’t do it, everyone does it.
As great as it is when my friends achieve something and as delighted as I am for them I can’t help but feel a little bit like…. “what about me?” Don’t try to deny it, you do it as well. We all do it. But you can be happy for your friend and be sad for yourself, there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make you a bad friend.
One of my 2019 resolutions (yeah I’m still thinking about those things) was to focus on myself and what I’m doing and not to focus so much on what other people are doing. This is hard when everyone around me seems to be hitting every mark and achieving every goal before I even know what I’m doing, but I’m trying. I’m slowly getting there. And slowly getting where you want to go is better than not moving at all. I’m focusing on micro-moments. Small moments that may not seem like a lot at the time but in the end will all add up. Jayne Hardy writes about micro-moments in her book, The Self Care Project. Reading about Jayne and her micro-moments really made me understand that I can’t achieve everything I want in my life right this second. As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
I’m trying to stay in my lane, get through my days the best I can, be happy for my friends and be happy for myself. Sometimes being nice to myself is the hardest part, but I’m working on it.
If you feel like everyone around you is getting where they want to go faster, maybe it’s time you started focusing on your micro-moments. Take a step back, click out of Instagram and look back at how far you’ve come. You’ll be surprised.