Today I stayed in bed until one o’clock because I could not find the motivation to get up. I didn’t want to face another day where I was floating. That’s what I’m doing, I’m floating around, watching everyone around me achieve their goals, get to where they want to be and here I am, watching them, with no idea as to what I want from my life.
I’ve tried so many things, and I’ve failed at a lot of them and the scariest part about that is it was 100% my fault. I have no one else to blame but myself. That’s a scary part of growing up. Having to make these huge decisions, not wanting to listen to anyone because you want to prove you know what you’re doing and then you fail because you were so wrapped up in your own head. That’s me. I’m so wrapped up in my own head that I get blinded by stress and I forget everything else. And here I am, floating.
Honestly, I’m terrified. I’m scared that I won’t reach my goals like my friends. I’m worried that I’m holding myself back so much that I’m going to be stuck in the same place forever.
I am so much in my own head that I freeze and it takes me so long to get out of that place.
This is me, trying to get out of my head, trying to figure out what I want, and trying to reach my goals.